word of soz

Just finished this book, literally five minutes ago. Upon finishing it, I ate a sesame cracker dipped in almond butter and then jetted over to my laptop to try and record some semblance of cohesive thought on the memoir.

To give you some background, I first read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand in my senior year of high school, I believe. Like so many impressionable, soul-searching, and ambitious teenagers who read The Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged (which, interestingly enough, apparently was voted second only to the Bible as people’s “most influential book I’ve ever read” winner, according to a Library of Congress survey), I was completely swept away by the novel and the principles it championed. I remember finishing the book, and not even pausing for breath, turning right back to the first page to start re-reading it all again, this time armed with a pencil and highlighter to make notes in the margins and highlight passes that really spoke to me. Some months after re-reading The Fountainhead, I read Atlas Shrugged and was similarly blown away. It took me some time, at least a year, to realize that Ayn Rand’s philosophy, Objectivism, must be taken with a grain of salt. At least one grain, if not two. 

I will spare you the long-winded review, as there is TONS of literature on this subject. It can’t be denied that Ayn Rand was a genius and an inspiration to millions. However, any reasonable person who is in touch with their emotions should be able to realize that Objectivism simply cannot be executed rigidly without eventually becoming harmful to someone at some point in time. Why? Because emotions ARE valid. You can’t reason your emotions away. You can reason why you shouldn’t feel the way that you do, but (to quote Bianca, who often has said this to me when giving me advice on personal problems) your feelings are valid simply because they are your feelings. 

A couple weeks ago, I found this memoir of Ayn Rand in a used bookstore in Berkeley. Ayn’s books have influenced me so much, and I have so much respect for her as one of the greatest minds of the century, that there was obviously no way I wasn’t going to read this memoir. Nathaniel Branden was Ayn Rand’s much younger lover, and at one point Atlas Shrugged was dedicated to him, as Ayn had declared him to be her “intellectual heir”. In the memoir, Branden outlines his first impressions of Rand, how he came to be involved so intimately in her life, his own struggles with the Objectivist philosophy, how he came to build an empire on the Objectivist philosophy, and how that empire was eventually destroyed by Ayn’s (human) character flaws - flaws and oversights that she (and her followers), tragically, would not and could not recognize due to her (their) fanatical dedication to Objectivism. The subculture of Objectivism has even been described as an “intellectual cult”. It is NOTHING SHORT OF FASCINATING to read this insider perspective on the group of people who helped bring the subject and philosophy of Objectivism to the level of publicity which it enjoys today. It is FUCKING FASCINATING to observe the psychological character and flaws of Ayn Rand, this rational, reasonable, driven, ambitious, incredibly intellectual woman. 

If you’ve ever cared about any of Ayn’s fiction books - maybe you haven’t gotten through The Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged yet, but you’ve been able to appreciate We the Living or Anthem - I would highly recommend this to you. I’m not saying that Branden is a flawless and totally unbiased writer, but he is a very gifted and enjoyable writer, and the story of Ayn Rand that only he can tell is riveting. I found it to be a truly pleasurable experience.